Modern women want more

With Christmas and New Year’s over, and a long winter sapping our social initiative, I would like to dispel some masculine perceptions about the Okanagan's social scene and the modern woman's needs and social desires.

Today's modern woman is not satisfied watching you indulge on a menu of televised sports, weekend in and weekend out. There are a multitude of jointly enjoyable social options that with some initiative by you, could make her world a more stimulating and thus fulfilling union. The Okanagan has an interesting social and recreational nightlife for 30 somethings and Baby Boomers. There are alternatives for women who are hostages to men with midlife sports compensation issues.

Unfortunately, the Okanagan also has a demographic of low initiative, complacent, and socially regressive men who don’t seem to have the courage to attempt new activities or venues. Televised sports have somehow become socially acceptable staples to the modern married couple - at least in the male’s opinion. Women want to have fun too - they work as much as us and still have to attend to most of the household burdens.

Let’s face it guys - all you macho men, alpha guy types, hiding out in the man cave, cringing away in fear of the unknown - beside you is a wife or girlfriend withering away in boredom.

As uncomfortable as this column might be, it’s meant to provoke thought, conversation and ultimately, action.

Men who inadvertently dictate what an evening can be for their partners seem to have a dependency on sports. How many Canucks vs. Ducks games does it take before you realize your lady has more interests and desires than the 47th hockey game of the year?

Women would get an earful if Figure Skating was on 80 times a year, 3 hours a night. As it is, in a lot of situations women are banished to the secondary TV in the house so as to not interfere with “the game”. This male mindset is pathetic in 2010, and really constitutes a failure of the man to live up to be the “best a man can be”. Guy Code 101-A.

Men who are comfortable with their achievements, whether sports or academia, agree that accomplished men don’t have sports compensation issues into adulthood and it’s time to give suitable attention to our current reality - spouse, kids, family and friends.

Is it not fair to ask men to give back some emotional effort, some circumstantial effort, in return for the amount of time and commitment a woman gives her family, her spouse and her world?

My female friends speak of a common problem, “My husband never takes me anywhere, and we never go out.” Women have achieved professional and social equality yet emotional quality is not at parity.

I am attempting, through this column, to give men a wake-up call and to give women a window of hope, to see that in today’s world, being mature and accomplished is a strong and sexy attribute, a turn-on to many of today’s modern, accomplished and self-confident men. Not all men are stuck on the couch, scared and frightened of trying new activities.

It’s hard to feel appreciated and validated week in and week out, when you’re trying to talk over the play-by-play guy, weekend in and weekend out.

There is a demographic of men emerging that are sensitive, respectful and interested in you, what you have accomplished and how you got to be who you are today.

Women live with the fear that their experiences are “baggage”. So what if it is? Like any great trip, you have mementos, souvenirs, and experiences, all tucked away in the many suitcases you carry. As long as most of it is neatly folded, and carried with pride, we want to hear about them, your journeys, your experiences, and feelings along the way.

In conclusion, men shouldn’t need to do an emotional inventory on how they can give back to their spouse. In the years to come, with many men coming to the realization that this isn’t 1970 anymore, that women want more from their partners, and all it would take is a minor adjustment weekly to attend to their needs.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.