You're safe if you avoid eye contact

Aug 22, 2014 / 5:00 am

Shhhhh…if you’re reading this, please don’t make any noise. I’m hiding in my bedroom right now, typing very quietly in the dark and...

Dog days of summer

Aug 1, 2014 / 5:00 am

Hello, my fine friends, and welcome to August in the Okanagan, where the days are long and the living is easy. There are a hundred wonderful things about summer...

A fool and my parting money

Jul 18, 2014 / 5:00 am

Maybe it’s the heat, but lately I’ve been finding myself a bit short-tempered, especially when random salespeople call me to infer that, financially...

Time is NOT on my side

Jul 11, 2014 / 5:00 am

Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like you had too much time? I can remember being eight years old and having so much free time that I didn’t...

Laundry epiphanies

Jul 4, 2014 / 5:00 am

Like any decent husband, I do my fair share of the household chores. I empty the dishwasher when the dishes are clean, I take out the garbage before it evolves...

A manly man versus candy cane bliss

Jun 27, 2014 / 5:00 am

I got home from work the other day and my wife met me in the doorway. Apparently I had arrived in the nick of time, for we had a vitally urgent family matter to...

Daytime TV has stolen my IQ

Jun 20, 2014 / 5:00 am

Occasionally I leave the office and eat my lunch at home. I get to spend an hour away from the daily grind, plus I get the added bonus of catching a few minutes...

Thor's Guide to Home Repair

Jun 13, 2014 / 5:00 am

One of the best things about owning your own five-year-old is that five-year-olds are notoriously easy to impress. Take home repair, for example. When my...

Risking my life for toast

Jun 6, 2014 / 5:00 am

Dear God, whatever you do with the rest of your life, DO NOT MAKE TOAST BEFORE READING THIS FIRST! At least, that’s the impression I got from the little...

Fashionably dysfunctional

May 30, 2014 / 5:00 am

Recently my wife threatened to throw away all my clothes. Given the tone with which she made the statement, not only could I tell she was serious, but I also...

Can you freeze nuclear waste?

May 16, 2014 / 5:00 am

Like any responsible human being, I don’t let my friends do stupid things. I’m happy to be the Jiminy Cricket voice of reason that prevents them...

Ad-libbed versus the spider

May 9, 2014 / 5:00 am

Last night I faced down the spider. We’ve had a spider living in our basement for several days now, and he’s huge. Since last Saturday when I first...

My superdog is a super wuss

May 2, 2014 / 5:00 am

Okay, picture this scenario: It’s night, and you and your family lay fast asleep while your faithful warrior dog Achilles – a majestic Bullmastiff...

Do ballerinas throw bodychecks?

Apr 25, 2014 / 5:00 am

Forgive me if you end up with glitter on your keyboard after reading this column today. The Ad-libbed household spent last weekend at our first dance...

Always strike while the BBQ is hot

Apr 18, 2014 / 5:00 am

Tonight I smelled the inevitable, and “the inevitable” smelled a lot like barbecued chicken. I call it the inevitable because, deep down in my...

How NOT to give a cat a pill

Mar 27, 2014 / 5:00 am

“You need me to do what?” We were sitting in the car in the driveway outside the house of one of Eldest Daughter’s friends, for whom...