Dear Dawn...

My partner and I have been together almost two years, and were friends for quite a few years prior to becoming romantically involved.  I am feeling uncertain about the future with him, as he often seems insecure and wonders if I "cheat" on him or have male friends over when he is out of town.  My reassurances soothe him, until he travels again.  The distrust is wearing on me.  My previous relationship was an emotionally abusive one, which ended among similar insecurities.  I did not see the insecure side of my partner even with his previous sweetheart.  Do I have more lessons to learn?  Where do you see this relationship going?
 
Faithfully Frustrated

 

Dear Faithfully Frustrated,

The main message coming through for you actually has to do with your previous relationship.

Your partner is reflecting back to you unresolved emotions and beliefs regarding the abuse you suffered in your previous relationship. It is almost as though he is wearing a mask of insecurity that is actually not his however and neither of you can do anything positive about it without the awareness of where it is actually coming from.

It would be very helpful for you to take some time and work on forgiving your ex, as well as forgiving yourself, for allowing the abuse.

There is a program, in the form of a book or CD, whichever works best for you called Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping. It will help you to understand the nature of why we attract certain people and circumstances in order to grow as souls. You will also learn the gift in your experience on a soul level through doing the worksheet provided.

I have used this many times in my own life and know from experience that it works and does indeed create miracles. It may take you doing the worksheet daily until you feel an internal shift and release that will assist you in completely letting go of your past relationship.

This quote may also help you: “We forgive out of self-interest. I forgive you because I want out of my pain. I forgive you so that I can be free of what you did. I see beyond your mistake to the love in you so that I can see beyond the mistake to the love in me – because only then can I have a miracle.” - Marianne Williamson

After you have done the work of forgiveness I do see a bright future with your current partner. As you release the past and forgive yourself you will create an opening for marriage with this partner, if that is what you truly desire. This is in the cards for you both, so to speak …if you so choose.

Every day is a new day… Just for today do all that you can to learn the soul gifts of your previous relationship and forgive your previous partner as well as yourself. The insecurities you are experiencing now will miraculously cease to exist when you do.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.