Dec 6, 2012 / 5:00 am
Which one of your children is your favourite??
I have a goal that one day my parenting thoughts, tips, and blog will reach and impact millions of people – for the right reasons. I found another blogging dad, that, in one single sentence, has made the national news and angered thousands of parents when he declared, “If I were to be absolutely honest, my older son is my favourite of the two…”
The comments and reaction to his blog declaration have been strong, vicious, and viral. You can read all the mud slinging comments and his defence, but to me, the essence of the story has been lost.
I am not going to debate his claim or ask if you really admit to having a favourite child. That is a not my point. My point is that if you have more than one child, then each of your children should BELIEVE that they are your favourite… how can achieve this amazing feat??
It’s EASY… but it isn’t done with simple tricks or words. It’s done with T-I-M-E and attention.
Your child will believe they may be your favourite because of the individual time you give. Your actions, intentions, and the time spent will all show your child how important they are to you.
Play with your children, talk with your children, and ask good questions. If you always ask, “How was school?” – you will always get the same one word response, “Good” or “Ok”… ask more creative questions and you will get better answers and conversations. Turn judgment into curiosity.
I know you love your children, but do they know it? You need to show them every day.
How well do you know each of your children?
- Who are your child’s best friends?
- What shows do they love?
- What animals do they love?
- What songs do they love?
- What games do they love?
- What sports do they love?
- What do they love on their pizza?
Invest the time and always keep adding to their love list – all of the unique qualities and gifts that make them special.
Here are a few quick ideas for you to ensure your child feels they are your favourite:
Take the first 15 minutes when you get home and devote it solely to reconnecting with your child. Spend that magical time before bedtime laughing, cuddling, and talking with each of your child.
Have date nights with your children – one on one time. Dads, this is especially critical for your teenage daughters – show them what a good man and a gentleman looks like. Bring flowers, hold doors, etc.
When the phone rings or your text tones sounds off, ignore it. Ignore everything – focus only on your child -- Be present!! Show your child that they are your number one priority right now. In our age of distraction, it’s easy to get lost in the false urgency technology presents. There is a time and place for work, but your relationship with your child should always remain atop your priority list.
We all cherish our children and would do anything for them. Spend individual time so they always know what a top priority they are. Be truly present, patient, and available. See the wonderful challenge in a child that may be harder to parent.
Enjoy a connected loving relationship with each of your children and there will never be any debate about who might be your favourite. Their individual love cups will be so full that each of your children will thrive in the glow of a loving father.
Until next time…
I would love to hear your thoughts on this “Favourite” child idea… do you agree or disagree?
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