Balsy's Beef  

The candy is for the kids!

So it’s about 24 hours away, the big fright night when kids will dress up in their adorable and scary costumes to canvas the neighborhood in search of candy, threatening a trick if we, the home owners, don’t oblige. I love Halloween night and I have since I was a little kid because this night is all about the kids, their costumes and in the end, their candy.

So why is it that a night designed for young children is always overshadowed for me when at least two or three teenagers show up at my door thinking a hoodie is a costume?   There are a couple of rules at my house for Halloween and one of them is, 'If you don’t have a costume, you don’t get candy!'.  The other rule is if you are old enough to have a job or to be out trick or treating without any adult supervision, THEN YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR THIS!

Perhaps this is why raisins exist on Halloween night, the oh-so-hated Halloween treat!  I have no problem giving a teenager with no costume and nothing better to do on Halloween night a box of crappy raisins.  In fact, if you show me the slightest bit of attitude when I say, “No candy for teenagers,” then I might just put some grapes in your hood as you walk away for you to find at a later date; maybe by then they will be raisins!

My point is simple. You are old enough to entertain yourself as a teenager and you can honestly buy your own candy whenever you want some. By no means do I think ‘egging’ a house or smashing pumpkins is considered entertainment either, but maybe host a party, go bowling or watch scary movies with your friends.  This is a night for the kids and as a teenager I am sure you can remember how intimidating it was to see all the big kids running around on Halloween night when you were just a youngster.

Halloween is something we all love to celebrate and, when done right, it is a lot of fun, but on the big fright night itself I ask all teenagers who live such tough lives that only free candy can make them feel better, to please remember, THE CANDY IS FOR THE KIDS!

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About the Author

You got BEEF?  Balsy does! 

Rob Balsdon is a local stand-up comedian that has a beef with almost everything.

As a comedian Rob has shared the stage with some of the biggest names in Canadian comedy including “The Harley Guy” Herb Dixon, Gerry Dee (Mr. D) and Brent Butt (Corner Gas). Recently Rob was lucky enough to work with one of his idols when he opened for film star and SNL alumni Norm MacDonald!

Rob is here to rant about all the little things that get on his nerves.

Email your rants or ideas to [email protected]

The views expressed are strictly those of the author and not necessarily those of Castanet. Castanet does not warrant the contents.

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