Jul 28, 2012 / 4:00 pm
Normally I consider myself really lucky to be able to do what I do. After all, I'm a huge film buff that gets to go to movies for free and then I get paid to write about them. How awesome is that, right? There should be no reason for me to ever complain about what I do.
Unfortunately however, there are times when I see a movie like The Watch and all I can do is yearn for those 100 minutes of my life that I will never get back, not to mention the amount of time it takes me to write this review and have to be reminded of this utter crapfest of a flick. I mean, this movie is a total mess from start to finish and is easily one of the worst films I've seen so far this year. There is really no excuse for a big budget studio movie with a talented cast of funny people in it to be so lame brained and unfunny. It's just lazy and uninspired.
Ben Stiller plays Evan, an uptight, vanilla manager of a Costco in a small town in Ohio, and when a security guard is brutally murdered there he decides to form a neighbourhood watch to help keep the locals safe. Only 3 people decide to join him though and they include Bob (Vince Vaughn), who's just looking to hang with some guys and drink beers with, Franklin (Jonah Hill), who just wants an excuse to kick-ass, and Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade), a British fellow who seems genuinely interested in what Evan is trying to do. They soon discover that their town is being invaded by aliens and the rest of the film is them trying to either convince others of the truth or figuring out what to do about it themselves. Of course most of the time it's just the guys sitting around and cracking wise which I guess is supposed to be funny but it did nothing to further the paper thin plot and quite frankly I barely cracked a smile. How many different penis jokes does one really need in a movie anyways? The actors just spent so much time riffing on pointless things and it served absolutely no purpose whatsoever.
The only character I found even remotely likable was Richard Ayoade's Jamarcus. Ayoade is best known for starring in the British TV series "The IT Crowd" and directing the small film Submarine. Vince Vaughn was his usual annoying motor mouth self, Ben Stiller was the same neurotic character he plays in practically every comedy he's in and Jonah Hill was more or less doing an imitation of Seth Rogen's character from the film Observe and Report. Speaking of Seth Rogen, he's one of the culprits who wrote the screenplay for this total misfire. Way to go, Seth! Even the supporting characters of the local cop played by Will Forte and the creepy neighbour played by Billy Crudup are really over-the-top and totally lame. I guess if I had to say anything positive about the film is that some of the creature effects were ok, even if they weren't very original.
Overall, I caution anyone who wants quality entertainment to do your best and avoid this stupid, dumb, uneven mess of a film. I just want to put this one in the rearview mirror and forget about
I give The Watch a 2 out of 10.
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