My apologies to the great Robert Burns for the paraphrasing of the immortal line “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men” but once Sidney Sheldon has bastardized your work, I think everything else is fair game - he and Aaron Spelling most likely named a “Hart To Hart” episode after some of your finer verse! But hey, you should not be forgiven entirely, for in roughly two weeks I will once more listen somewhat intently as a man kilt-clad waves sharpened knife and blunt poetic wit at the inglorious haggis before him once more attempting, as my ancestors long have, to persuade me that this be the pinnacle of Scottish cuisine. And sadly, they might be right! All this being said, I had planned to greet you in this New Year (our last if our Mayan brethren be correct) with a review of 2011 to recapture some of the finer moments which may or may not have caught the headlines in the sporting world. Shelved these plans I have – in true Yoda-speak, to be readdressed on some sports snow day when the Super Bowl has passed and the NHL is in mid-season LaLa Land and all that’s left to discuss is why the Calgary Flames are still holding on to Jerome Iginla – a once unstoppable Force turned to immovable object.

Photo: Contributed

Instead, let’s rant a bit about a renewal of the festivities in Beantown last week between former dance partners The Bruins and The Canucks. This my friends was a hockey game. No, no, no… not your Olympic, Euro-rink, no-touch, flag hockey, Greg Louganis swan diving, Marquis of Queensbury rules style of hockey game that may or may not be the future of the sport. Nope, this was a game Gordie Howe could recognize. This was The Champs doing what it is that they do best – bullying, intimidating and making sure that when you leave their building, win or lose, you don’t feel as healthy as when you first got off the bus. This was The Canucks, finally taking a stand in the playground and although they always look like The Math Geek with the taped glasses every time they are forced to square off, sometimes black eyes can earn a bit of respect and if not there is always the old fall back that ‘chicks dig scars’! In the meantime, could someone please explain to Donald Fehr over at the NHLPA that one of the best things about the proposed realignment is the fact that it includes home-and-home match-ups for all teams – getting deprived of this rematch is simply un-Canadian/American.

Photo: Contributed

By the time this goes to print Brad Marchand will know what fate Brendan’ Shanaban’ has in store for him for his submarine check on Sami Salo. No question he was ducking a hit from Salo but I really can’t defend The Bruins’ recent Ken “The Rat” Linseman incarnation on this one. As agent provocateur, Marchand’s work is priceless in the Bruins’ scheme and is evidenced by skulking Sedins anytime he passes by but even though this hit was well above the knee area, he pushes up through the check and certainly creates a more dramatic and concussion-causing fall for Salo. My guess? Probably going to be 3 games which should bring a halt to the pleasantries being exchanged through the press by Claude Julien and Alain Vigneault although ‘repeat offender’ status and reputation may get hockey’s “Honey Badger” as many as 5 which would be the mandated maximum for a disciplinary hearing conducted over the phone with the NHL Head Office.

Photo: Contributed

So while Mayor Gregor was recalling the platoon of bicycle cops from the downtown core and giving the city of Vancouver the “All Clear” as part of the January victory celebration, blogs everywhere were touting the performance of Cory Scheider, Marblehead Mass. native, surprise starter, not-Luongo and apparent demon exorcisor between the pipes for the Canucks. What, in the name of all things Holy and non-Tebowesque (did you say that game, seriously?) does Cory Schneider have to do to become the full-time starter or get a better gig? Before Sunday against the Steelers, Tebow could honestly claim he was getting more respect than Scheider! Aretha Franklin got more R-E-S-P-E-C-T than Schneider. Even Rodney Dangerfield got more respect but we all know “Caddyshack” and the Triple Lindy carried him! No-one’s been held back this cruelly since Pierce Brosnan had to forfeit 007 the first time round to keep doing Remington Steele. Those are years you just don't get back and while Tuuka Rask can see the light backing up a 38-year old TimThomas in Boston, Schneider only gets to focus on the back of Luongo’s contract which even NBA players find absurd. One had better believe that if Lord Stanley comes down to these 2 teams again in June (Really? June?) there is only one player on that Canuck roster which worries Boston players and Fans alike and it is most certainly not the one pictured above in the ball cap! On that note, I hope this New Year finds you all well and recovered. Let’s do this 2012 thing!