A living funeral

As I write this week’s column, my uncle who is ninety-five years old, lay comatose, dying in a hospital room. It occurred to me as I sat by his bed for a little while each day that, you never really know who will be with you when you die. Would he have even imagined that I would be one of the people that would be there on his last days?

At times, an individual may never really have a choice of whom, if anyone, will stay by their side and watch over them. At times, an individual will have orchestrated the perfect passing.

The main point here that I am trying to make is, regardless of what our greatest laid out plans are, regardless of who we love and where we want to be when our time comes it is going to arrive whether or not we are ready or have prepared. The greatest planner in the world cannot foretell the timing of this event.

What goes on around the “death bed”? Is it a sacred time? Is it a time of reflection? Is it a time to visit with family that may have been missing in action? The answer is yes to all.

During the past week, when I would have the opportunity to visit the bedside of my dying uncle, there would always be others that would be there visiting as well and it was always a different mix of people from different walks of life and it was always an interesting conversation.

The conversation was not of sadness it was of reflection and memories. It was seeing a different facet of the same person, as remembered through someone else’s memories I call this a living funeral. Why be sad, when there can be no sadness during this time? We knew my uncle could still hear us and was enjoying the stories.

My uncle was not in a home or institution at the time of his hospital visit he was 100% independent and amazingly, was still driving his mini-van around town daily. He would walk every morning, pick up bottles, have breakfast and then go visit his wife of fifty-two years who had to be cared for in a facility.

There is no sadness to be read into this story because he was probably spryer, than most 55 year-olds. He lived his life free each day and he made his own schedule that schedule started at 4:00 a.m. every morning.

Often he was asked what the secret to his long life was and to that he would reply, “live your life honestly and no sex”. Maybe that is the answer to the fountain of youth, which some may very well see the irony in that.

It goes to show you that, everyone has their own “secret” to living a long successful healthy life and regardless of what the guru’s of health and healing may tell or sell you, the real vitality starts in the mind.

This week’s column may not directly relate to any form of natural medicine however, lifestyle is the ultimate form of natural medicine regardless of supplements or potions. To see the vitality in the aged is proof and to see happiness where there is usually sadness shows strength and courage.

To all the families who have dying loved ones, my heart goes out to you remember the living funeral and you can get through it.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.