Let’s say you’re a pocket protector, dress shoes and white socks kind of guy and one day you show up to work on a brand new Harley-Davidson. Obviously, most folks are not really going to know what to make of you. “But he’s a nerd” they’d protest. Oh sure, you’d open your mouth and remind any and all that your nerdiness was still intact but the confusion would remain. They’d look at you, then the bike and then back at you again before deciding the whole motorcycle aberration was some failed attempt to burnish, or correct your dorkdom.

Good old safe, solid, predictable (and thus slightly nerdy) Honda has come out with a series of new ads pumping their totally redesigned Pilot eight passenger SUV/crossover. These ads are a little, uh, shall we say…out there? I’m not kidding. I mean there’s “out in left field” and then there’s “drooling guy running around in circles going WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP!” These ads are just beyond that.

In one we see an all new Honda Pilot happen upon a bizarre scene. A man stands next to a towable cement mixer shaking his head and looking down at his friend muttering “I can’t believe you, I can’t believe you.” The friend, as I’m sure you guessed, is completely encased in a free-form block of hardened concrete, save his head and a one small hand.

The Pilot driver looks concerned. The non-cement encased friend says simply, “Don’t Ask.” Honda Man inquires as to whether they need any help and Mr. non-cemented friend says he does. We then cut to the Pilot driving away, towing the cement mixer behind. Inside, the driver and non-cemented dude sit up front while the cement-encased schlub is seat-belted (yes, hilarious) in the back. The non-cemented guy explains that they need to get the mixer back by five or they have to pay for another day. The helpful driver soothes his concern about deadlines by saying they won’t have to stop for gas because the Pilot is so fuel efficient. Who jumps in at this point but cement-encased man to not only agree with the statement but to elaborate further on the reasons for the amazing fuel efficiency, which helpfully he read on a blog somewhere. The graphic and voice over then cuts in: “Surprisingly fuel efficient, ride ready, the new Pilot from Honda.”

The next one is even further out as a Honda Pilot driven by a father and son glides to a stop on a dirt road blocked by a deflated balloon and its balloonist’s basket. One man is visible in the basket. He shouts to the driver “Hey we landed.” Pilot driver answers back “In the middle of the road.” Then says, “Hop in, there’s room” Before they can another man, amidst a now visible group in the basket, speaks. “There’s one thing. We’re nudists.” Pilot man answers – “Wow.”

Wow indeed. Next scene finds the whole gonzo group of geriatric nudists in the car. As Pilot man goes to back up he twists his head and finds himself face to face with a squishy load of senior citizen dangly bits. Abruptly, he turns back as his son helpfully suggests using the rearview camera instead. Oy vey.

I feel these ads do not exactly suit Honda. Honda, as a brand, is uber-practical, well-made and efficient. Almost boring if you will. I know and accept them as this. Their cars run forever and seem to possess little excitement beyond this important quality. To have them airing this series of ads is an attention getter for sure but begs the question that they may be suffering some sort of identity crisis. Honda already had me sold on being good, solid and reliable but now they need me to think they’re hip and edgy too? Are things really so tough they need to cover those angles as well? If they really were all that serious about being cool maybe they’d try offering a few Pilots in colors beyond the absolutely non-head-turning color palette they usually saddle their family cars with. I guess Ernie orange or Kermit green really are too far out for supporters of nude balloon flyers and solo jet pack enthusiasts (yes, another weird ad).

Anyway, Honda’s attempts to get my attention may be inspired but I can’t forget the nerds they used to be. There was a comfort to them when I knew who they were. This new Honda, personified by a driver willing to pick up any and all manner of bizarre losers is throwing me for a loop. I can tell you that if I ever had a Pilot I sure as hell wouldn’t be stopping for any of these deranged kooks. I’d flip the door locks on, aim for daylight and hit the gas. It's nice Honda is trying some new things but when it comes to safe, well-built reliable transportation nerd is the word for me.

If I want freaky deviants I’ll look to Mini Cooper or those Vespa yabos for inspiration.