Be your own Valentine

Whenever I think about February, I see pink, red, and hearts in my mind’s eye. How did one day take over an entire month?

I don’t think about green and shamrocks when I consider March. Nor do I immediately think about turkeys and pilgrims when October springs to mind.

Since the Middle Ages, Valentine’s Day has been associated with love and romance. Lovers would exchange small tokens or notes. In some places, it became traditional to send an anonymous card to someone, asking them to be your valentine.

I couldn’t wait to have a boyfriend to share the day with. I spent many years in my early teens imagining how wonderful it would be. When the day finally arrived, it was everything I had envisioned.

Some years I was single in February. Although I put on a brave face of sisterhood and went out with friends, those occasions brought with them a sense of shame.

• What was wrong with me?
• Wasn’t I worth loving?

I’m sure there are many people who can relate to this situation. It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of being in love and believe that if you don’t have a partner, it’s because you’re lacking in some way.

If you need other people to validate your worthiness, you aren’t alone. This is a common misconception.

No one needs another person to complete them. If you were a beautifully iced cake, your significant other might add some extra decorations on the top, but without them, you’re still a beautiful work of art.

Valentine’s Day encourages you to show your love for others, but how often are you reminded to show your love for yourself?

Rather than looking for someone else to validate you, turn to the person who’s always there and who deserves your love the most. You.

Celebrate your love for a partner if you have one, but don’t forget to do the same for yourself.

Here are some important reasons why prioritizing self-love is important.

• The way you treat yourself shows how you’re willing to be treated by others.
• The less you judge yourself, the less you judge the people around you.
• Loving yourself makes it easier to love others.
• You’re more resilient when you know your wellbeing is in your hands, not in someone else’s.

Be your own Valentine this year.

• Put your needs and desires first. That doesn’t mean to ignore everyone else, but remember, they aren’t more important than you are.
• Book time in your calendar for some pampering and self-care. No one else knows what feeds your soul as well as you do. Caring for yourself is not selfish.
• Accept who you are rather than trying to be the person you think you should be.
• Be kind to yourself.

Love is limitless, yet somehow many people find it uncomfortable to be their own Valentine. It can feel selfish or lame to make yourself the focus of your own loving attention.

Use this month to create a habit of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-care. Showing your love isn’t just for Valentine’s Day.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.