Theatre rules

Photo: Contributed - (Photo: Derek Gratz)

Bonnie Gratz and Frank Takacs performing for Festivals Kelowna at Gyro Beach.

It has been a tricky week for outdoor performers in Kelowna. On Sunday, I performed a play outside at Gyro Beach in the most smoke filled air imaginable, blown in from the forest fires in Washington State. But that was nothing when you consider that hundreds of Kelowna Apple Triathletes competed in the same air, many of them unimaginably doing personal best times. I guess many of those athletes also adhere to the strict theatre code -“the show must (always) go on.”

Surprisingly, my fellow actor Frank Takacs and I had a great show. We told the audience the stifling air was “fog and mist” befitting our fairy tale detective story and we all had a wonderful time. Working for Festivals Kelowna has been a blast this summer, despite the heat and smoke.

This is what theatre performers do. We always continue despite the craziness that is presented to us and we plough through with the goal always being to create a wonderful show or at least the illusion of one.

I did a quick shout out to my Canadian theatre posse and found that the situations they have faced have been incredible as well. There were productions of You Are A Good Man Charlie Brown (mentioned twice, by the way) where Linus was down and completely out of the show due to a neck injury or another production where Charlie lost his voice and the music director had to sing over an offstage mic while the actor lip synched the words.

Injury, forgotten lines/cues, accidental swearing, prop fails and illness were very common theatrical predicaments; one actress even mentioned a production of The Scottish Play where the entire female cast caught the H1N1 flu. But there were also the other stranger situations-like the time when firemen shut down Fiddler On The Roof because of a patron’s car blocking an entrance, making it impossible for them to rescue a suicidal jumper or when a ghost interfered with an old theatre’s lighting and sound board. There was another harrowing example of the time an actor’s ex-girlfriend decided to “go over the couple’s relationship” minutes before a show they were both in was about to start.

Perhaps the bravest of performers are those who step into a role just a few weeks or terrifyingly even days before the show is to open. These brave, talented souls take on saving a production from cancellation and memorizing a whole show in the pressure cooker of the last days of rehearsal. Examples of amazing local actors that have done this are Ruby Bullock-Spitz in Crimes of The Heart, Rob Mason-Brown in Same Time, Next Year, Randy Leslie in Noises Off! and Angela Lavender, who did this for me in our production of Pith!. Due to a family member’s emergency surgery I was no longer able to do the role of Nancy and Angela stepped in and made the role her own. Audiences adored her in the Stewart Lemoine gem (& so do I for the rescue).

Production staff and crew also jump into theatrical fires and put them out all the time. In fact that was how I first met Brooklyn Ritchie, the genius director from Edmonton behind our production of The Graduate we did this summer. He stepped in to help out a show I was directing many years ago when our stage manager got severely ill. Once someone helps you out in this way, there is a bond I call theatre karma.

1.  “The show must go on” or helping each other out, no matter what, is the first rule of theatre, but there are others that are also very important.

2.  When people ask you “how are rehearsals going?” actors and production team should always say positive things. You may not have had a great rehearsal today, but a lot can change over the course of weeks, days and even hours. Never be negative or people won’t want to see your show and if no-one comes to your play, what is the point?

3.  Just like a magician never reveals how their tricks are done, never tell the secrets behind the scenes of your production- or at least not until after the show is over.

4.  Actors should not ever tell screw ups to patrons, friends and family after the show. Talking about these is what after show cast/crew drinks and post-show parties are for. Most audience members won’t even notice, that is, until you point it out to them.

5.  To patrons who are watching the show, don’t rip the play to shreds immediately following the play to the director, production team or actors, especially when there are more shows to come. It is deflating, demeaning and affects upcoming performances. Unless you are asked for your full and complete criticisms, or are a critic, keep your opinions to yourself or send an email the next day. This is really what post-show audience drinks with friends are for. And for Heaven’s sake, turn off your cellphone or don’t bother to come to the theatre (just google Patti LuPone and Benedict Cumberbatch to get a lesson on why).

In my almost 30 years in theatre I have witnessed all of the above followed tactfully with grace or disastrously forgotten. I could add so many more rules-as could my many illustrious colleagues- but then theatre is also about throwing everything expected and followed out the window, too. Theatre folk are an irreverent bunch.

I guess that is why this column is so much fun for me, this time I get to make the rules. Let the games begin as my posse debates and add to the list.

Start planning your calendar for an exciting fall theatre season ahead. We will be busy behind the scenes making sure those plays happen for you-no matter what.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.