The Universe loves to laugh...at me

Once again, my illusionary world, or as it is sometimes called, my delusionary world, just crashed into my reality like a bull in a china shop. I have always been a glass half full kind a girl but from time to time, I believe the universe likes to test my resolve. It starts out with small, seemingly insignificant blips and blunders that miraculously seem to manifest into mountains of mayhem in mere moments.

I believe I have now identified my mistake. I became overconfident, mildly complacent and even a tad bit content. The universe apparently decided that I was much more exciting and entertaining when I am none of those things. There also seems to be a bit of a reoccurring theme to my life over the past 12 months so it would appear that it (the universe) has a favorite genre.

So without further ado, I will begin my tale.

 

This morning I awoke to the death of yet another appliance. My refrigerator apparently decided to take its own life in the middle of the night.  Sadly, it took a lot of our food with it; which is why I am calling this a murder suicide.  I will probably never get over the carnage I discovered when I opened up my tub of Haagen Daz.  It’s still too painful to talk about.  I am crying as I write this.

I am loathed to admit I did not see it coming.  

It showed no signs of depression.  There were none of the usual red flags. I like to think that if I had known it was feeling down that I would have gotten it some help - called someone or arranged an intervention with some of the other appliances.  I'm not saying they would have been able to intervene in a meaningful way, but maybe they could have talked it down off the ledge. If only it had stopped to consider the impact its death would have on my matching appliances and how a lack of this will inevitably impact my resell value.

Suicide is such a selfish act.  

Miraculously we were able to replace it the same day.  I know that might sound callous but we all grieve differently.  Don't judge me for moving on - applaud me for letting go.  

Our new fridge is a beauty.  It's spacious, shiny and seems very well adjusted. At first I thought the others might not accept it as one of their own; but the stove gave it its leftovers from dinner tonight like they had been best friends since birth.  I am not sure I have had a prouder moment. 

We did hit a snag or three during the installation process which may or may not have led to the deconstruction of some solid oak railing, ceramic tile and the removal of some ill positioned cupboards.

I am not ready to discuss all that at this time as there is only so much one human can endure in a weekend and I maxed out on that with the murder of my caramel cone ice cream. I promise you, when I am stronger, I will over share all the repercussions of our latest failure to utilize a measuring tape.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.