If it doesn’t fit...you must convict!

Last weekend I decided to get a new door for our pantry.  The old one and our family had had a parting of the ways.  If I were to tell the story I would say that it was poorly crafted and lacked the required opening and closing ability that I require of a door. If it (the door) were to tell it, you would probably hear that the constant slamming and rough housing were responsible for its demise.  Regardless, I'm not about to play the blame game with a door.  So out with the old, and in with the new.

Now, if you have been following any of my previous columns you might be aware that if there is an easy way to do things, we will generally opt to not do it that way.  I'm not sure exactly why that is but it does seem like it is a particularly common theme for us, and (spoiler alert) this time was no exception.

So off to the home building store we went.  I hadn't done my usual on-line pre-shop so we were flying a bit blind, but we eventually did decide on one and brought it home.  The salesman had indicated that it was extremely easy to install and we should have it hung in about 15 minutes.  Now, I'm not saying that was the deciding factor on the one we chose, but it definitely did make it one of the more appealing choices.

In the past I have generally chosen to let my husband handle the installations of most household upgrades. However, with the wounds still rather fresh from the latest dishwasher escapade, I decided to be an active participant this time.  Facebook friends would have to wait.

We emptied out the pantry and prepared for the quick and easy hanging of our beautiful new door.  It was 11 AM.  The first sign that things were not going well happened about 10 minutes after. Apparently the door was a little too tall.  This was all sounding a little too familiar for my taste and I was starting to get a little anxious. Why is it so hard to remember to measure things?  Properly.  The first time.  I cannot answer that...it just is.

So okay, next steps.  Do we take the door back?  No.  Do I walk away and contemplate the limited options that are available. NO!!  Been there and done that.  I stood firmly beside my husband and said the phrase that always comes to mind when my house is being uncooperative.

"We should just move. This house is too complicated for us.  It doesn't 'fit' our needs. It's being totally unreasonable."

So after about another 20 minutes of back and forth speculation, we came to the decision that the flooring would have to come up.  No big deal; it was laminate, easy to reinstall.  After we had removed the flooring we tried to hang it again.  No luck.  So we decided to cut up the floor board.  Yes, we were now cutting things again.

One more time to no avail there was still not enough variance to hang this thing.  My husband was eyeing up my tile with a little too much interest and I saw where this was headed.  We were going all in and he was cutting out the tile.  It's 1:30 PM and I was about to call that very helpful salesman and share some thoughts with him. Easy install???  I don't think so.

Tile has now been chewed up and destroyed, and I'm starting to have some serious flashbacks.  The good news is that this time we were successful in hanging my beautiful new door.  The bad news ... well let's just say one simple project has given birth to several new projects that will no doubt in time have babies of their own.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.