Reader's fitness question answered

Question:

Hi Kasie, I am in need of your advice!  I consider myself to be a “routine exerciser” and have been for many years.  I love how the incorporation of exercise in my life has me focusing on eating healthier and  feeling more confident with myself!  However, my issue is with my partner!   We used to always be active outside together regularly, but now it seems that in the past two years  I can’t get him motivated to go for walks, hikes or workout with me.  Because of this I feel we live two completely different lifestyles,  ranging from interests, activities and dietary factors. This is so frustrating for me as he gets angry and jealous if I choose a workout over spending time at home with him.  I can see how unhappy he is, which makes me not want to spend time with him. Can you please offer your advice or ideas as to how I can get him to want to be active with me?  

 

Answer:

Thank you for your question! Let me start by saying congratulations to you for seeing the value in your regimen of fitness, activity and health!  The fact that you have not wavered  from your fitness routine based upon your partner's requests to do so is absolutely fantastic!  

There are so many reasons for a person to lose the desire of participating in physical activities - sometimes it just comes down to getting out of the fitness routine and feeling comfortable with the current inactive lifestyle. Trying to re-incorporate a healthier and more active routine for some may seem intimidating or overwhelming, especially if they fear that  they won’t be able to keep up to their partner, if they feel forced into something, or if your idea of a fun physical activity is not what they are interested in.  It could very well be that perhaps your partner is just not interested in incorporating any physical activity into his lifestyle.  There are so many reasons, so make sure you understand clearly the “why”.

The saying, “couples that sweat together… stay together” is very much true! Bonding with your partner over a physical activity can be a very rewarding and strengthening factor in any relationship!  The key is to find similar interests, so that each party enjoys the active quality time just as much as the other! With that being said,  start off with these baby steps to get your partner on board with sharing the enjoyment of an active lifestyle with you!

1.  Know the “why”:  Have the conversation with your partner to make sure he/she is interested in developing a routine that incorporates fitness and activities.  You can’t force someone to be interested in your interests.  Once the interest is confirmed then work on this next step.

2.  Get planning:  Put together a weekly activity game plan that both you and your partner have an equal say in. Select the days of the week, times and activities you guys will participate in for your activities.   

3.  Don't get too advanced or competitive in the beginning:  If you have some hikes, walks or runs planned, ensure that it's at an intensity that would work for your partner, at his current fitness level. It can be a bit of an ego bruiser if your partner can’t keep up to you right away, not to mention that the shortness of breath will take away from a wonderful conversation.

4.  Relaxing activities:  If those muscles are getting stiff from your new fitness routine,  plan for a relaxing couples massage or restorative yoga class! Active relaxing can be just as bonding as the big hikes or workouts and very enjoyable!  This will be an enjoyable reward for your partner after some great workouts!

5.  Get Creative: Step outside of your comfort zone and don’t take your activities too seriously - try something completely different!  Kick boxing, boot camp classes, sharing on personal training sessions, biking, you name it! Select activities that will have you high-fiving, learning and laughing together by the end of it!

6.  Praise your partner: Don’t forget - let your partner know how  great you feel that they are sharing in on this active time with you!  Tell them specifically what you love the most about your new experiences.  I am sure at this point they are just as happy and feeling pretty great about themselves that they have taken these steps with you.

Taking the right approach can make a huge difference in getting the active bonding time with your partner! Watch as your strengths, connection and hobbies develop together and, what perfect timing now that spring is here!  The sky's the limit so get outdoors and have fun!

If you have any questions, comments or training enquiries contact Kasie at 250-859-2431 or [email protected]

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.