I've always been this easy-going, happy-go-lucky personality, in a conscientious, but not of the overtly worried sort of way. I've got the report cards to prove it! Ah, not much bothered me in my rose-colored-glasses world. I was always half-glass-full. An optimistic, romantic at heart.

And then I had kids. All of a sudden the rose that acted as a film on the way I saw the world had been rubbed off my glasses. The easy-going, relaxed nature of my youth was replaced with cautious eyes, and an over-protective, mother-knows-best instinct. I've never had a wart of any kind, but it seemed with the first newborn cries, I suddenly developed the biggest wart of them all – worry. Sure, I analyzed things in University, but in real-life, I rarely thought analytically. Like I said, and then I had kids.

Or rather, babies! What does that cry mean? Is he hungry? Does she need a new diaper? Is she teething? Sick? Hurt? Is it too sunny? Too cold? Is that person holding the baby properly? Supporting her neck? Avoiding the soft spot? Is the bath water too cold? Too warm?

Now that they've become their own walking, talking, thinking, little people, I've noticed that slowly the mothers-instinct-in-overdrive has calmed down and a more trustworthy, reliable inner voice has developed. Case-in-point – My 5 year old just attended a full-week of day camp! Sound like no big deal? It is when you consider we've only ever let family babysit her, other than her one morning a week of preschool.

But oh, how she has thrived! She has thoroughly enjoyed her drama, music, art, and of course dance that has occupied a full seven hours a day of this past week. She's come home tired and exhausted, but always raring to go the next morning.

I hadn't realized it until a good friend pointed out that it sure must have been a big step for us, not just her. Was she ever right! We have spent the week congratulating our daughter on her big feat. Full day camp! Learning two lines in a play! Being away from home! Eating a lunch from a lunch box! Learning a dance in a week! Making new friends! I hadn't even thought about what an accomplishment this was for us. We let her go. We allowed her the opportunity to grow, have fun, and express herself without our watchful, protective eyes. We allowed her to swap one safe environment for another. We didn't show our stress or worry because we knew if we had, she would have melted in tears at drop-off.

But the fact is, the week has been just about her. I haven't analyzed or worried (as much as I probably could have), and while I have been excited to pick her up every afternoon, I was also happy to drop her off each morning because I knew she was loving every minute of it. Her happiness trumped our want/need to have her close by, and we rarely looked back.

Here's the thing – maybe when our kids start getting their own groove, maybe when they become a little more independent, and just maybe when Mama is able to let go a little too, Mama might just find she's able to get her groove back too! And that's good news for parents with babies! It does get better! You do find your inner peace eventually (some quicker than others, apparently!), you do get your groove back!

Kids – they thrive on routines, schedules, and boundaries – or at least that's what all the experts tell us. And it is true, I suppose. I know that my own children seem to have a better day when they know what we're doing, when we're following our routine and when the boundaries are consistent. But on the flip side, maybe it is ME who is having a better day and they're simply following my lead.

Take my son for example. He can sleep in his bed any which way he flops. He doesn't yet have the preconceived notion that his pillow should be at one end of the bed and his head on that pillow. If he wants to sleep diagonally, or start the night on one end and finish on the other, he will. And he'll still wake up happy. On the odd occasion that he is grumpy in the morning we might tease “oh did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed” but he just giggles because he doesn't yet know what that means.

He's this little boy who learns everything from us and the world around him. He scribbles over the lines on his coloring sheets without a care in the world, except maybe when his next snack time might be. In his world, the sky could be green if he wanted it to be and trees could be pink. And that's okay by him.

You see, he enjoys scribbling and coloring outside of the lines. Testing the boundaries, pushing the limits. It's how he learns and develops big, bold, black coloring sheets of his own by which to live.

We're the parents and instead of providing a blank paper by which to scribble, we give them guidelines and rules. Of course, many of these are for their own safety. Others are to instill values of respect, thoughtfulness, politeness and friendship. But sometimes I find I can get so focused on all the rules, all that teaching and parenting, that I forget that he's the one with the crayon. He's the one ready, willing and able to color his own picture.

Do you ever feel like you say 'don't do that', 'don't do this' and 'no' a little too often? It is easy to do. Raising kids is so enjoyable and heartwarming (that goes without saying, but I've said it nonetheless), but it is also tiring and we can be quick to lose our patience. We have our own ideals, goals and hopes for our children. We know what kind of kids we would like them to be. Probably polite, respectful, nice and self-confident are adjectives that make the list. Safe, might be another. Obedient, maybe? So we guide them and provide them with the outline to be that person.

I often think however, that even though we set boundaries and try to achieve consistency, that maybe we should try coloring outside the lines. In fact, in order to help my children be the people I know they are, in order for them to be the adjectives I hope others will continue to describe them with, I believe it is essential to break some of the rules (within reason, of course).

Skip bedtime every so often, read an extra story, paint blue trees and a purple sun, eat ice cream for breakfast once in a while and start dinner with dessert sometimes. It teaches kids flexibility. It allows them to experience what it feels like to literally live outside the lines of their coloring book without compromising their overall safety and well being.

Looking at my son in a peaceful sleep, diagonally on his bed, without a care in the world, I'm reminded that he's still learning the way. Soon enough he'll discover the right way to sleep on the bed and the right way to color a picture. But for now, while he's still learning, I've taken a cue from him, the little boy without any preconceived notions on the way things should be. It's refreshing and provides me with a new perspective on when to say 'no' and when to just let him be. So I resist the urge to adjust his posture, pick him up and rest his sleeping head on his superhero pillow. And I silently hope that he can always find such deep sleep and disregard for the conventions we inadvertently pass on that, when taken into the context of the big colourful world, don't matter at all.

Five! When my daughter was a baby, I thought that five seemed so far away. Other children we knew who were five seemed like such big kids Kindergarten? I thought it would never come. She was my baby girl and I couldn't grasp the idea of FIVE!

Now, that she is FIVE, four seems so young, and five still seems so old. But really, four and five are merely separated by one day! But oh, how things can change overnight.

Leading up to the big five, I drowned myself in party plans, for no other reason than I thought if I could keep busy enough planning the big event, I could remain in denial about it. Now that it has come and passed, and I'm a certified mom to a five year old princess (five going on tween is more like it) I can't help but wipe away a secret tear when she runs down the stairs exasperated: “Mom do I look older?” “Seriously Mo-oom, I look older, right?” When there is still no response from me, “Ok, I must sound older cuz you aren't answering me. It's MEEE. Don't you recognize me? Do I sound like I'm five. Do I look like it? Answer me!!!”

As I watch her eying herself up and down in the mirror, and listen to her practicing her new five year old sentences, I explain to her that you don't suddenly look or sound older just because you had a birthday. I explain that these things are gradual. That there is a lot of time between being a baby and five. That there really isn't much difference between yesterday and today.

But the reality is, that when she bounced down the stairs on her first morning of being five – She DID look older. She DID sound older. She even BOUNCED as though she was older. Suddenly, her sentences were little-lady like, her mannerisms had matured, and the eye rolls and voice tone was resembling that of a tween.

I think the reason many parents take five so hard is because it is a year that means so much. There is a big difference between four and five. When you're four, you can get away with more because you're “only four”. But when you're five, you are arbitrarily older. You're arbitrarily ready for big important things, like real school! You're itching for a little independence, autonomy, and life in a big kid world. And you feel SO old. And suddenly, adults start telling you, “you should know better.” At least, that's how I assume my five year old feels (my five year old, just had to say it again to let it sink in) after all, she can't stop talking about real school, she's suddenly conscious of having time to herself, and she's assuring me that a little independence might be a good thing.

And for mom and dad – when your child turns five you're suddenly a parent of a school-aged child. You're preparing yourself for homework, scholastic book order forms, school concerts, and parent-teacher interviews. Suddenly, someone else will be spending a good portion of their day with your child and you can't help but wonder if it will be okay. Will they like school? Will they make friends? Will they respect their teacher? Will they use their manners? Will they be responsible? Will they be caring and kind to their peers? Have I prepared them enough?

So when five suddenly becomes overwhelming, I just remind myself to relax! She's ONLY five! At least she's not 16, asking for the keys to the car. Or 18, venturing out on her own in the real world, for real. Five – maybe it isn't so bad after all! Maybe it isn't such a big deal. Just don't tell that to her!

It's that time of year again. Summer is at our doorsteps, the kids are almost finished school, and we're gearing up for two months of sun, fun, picnics, beach days, and lazy afternoons while the kids play peacefully in the backyard. Or not.

As much as the kids love and look forward to their summer holidays, if they're like most, then you're bound to hear whispers and screams of “I'm bored”, and “can we do something”. And while free play and boredom are good for our childhood, you might be looking to get them out of your hair for a bit.

Or, maybe you work and are looking for fun activities for your children instead of traditional childcare.

Perhaps your kids want to try something new? Learn a new skill, or develop their talents?

Summer camps, whether day camps or overnight camps, are great for kids. Not only do they provide children with activities in a fun, social setting, but they also help boost self esteem, encourage friendships, allow them to be independent, and build self confidence. All the while keeping kids busy, active, and giving them room to grow.

There are summer camps for all ages this summer in Kelowna. Whether your preschooler or kindergarten-aged child needs an hour or two away every so often (to give you space, help prepare them for the coming year, learn a new skill, etc.) or your school aged child wants to develop a skill, or spend a week away from home at an overnight camp, there are summer activities for a wide range of interests and ages.

You can find many summer camps in the Recreation Leisure Guides. The following are a couple additional top picks:

Junior Naturalists Summer Day Camps
Outdoor Adventures for Kids ages 3-15
For More Info:

Junior Naturalists

SPCA Summer Camps for Kids
Contact Kelowna SPCA: 861-7722

Arts Blast – Rotary Centre for the Arts
Arts (art, dance, theatre etc.) based activities for ages 3-teen.
For More Info:

Arts Blast

Circle Square Ranch Overnight Camp

Circle Square Ranch

For More Kelowna Summer Day Camps and Okanagan Overnight Camps Visit KelownaParents.com's Camp Page.