Hi Kasie, I am in need of your advice! I consider myself to be a “routine exerciser” and have been for many years. I love how the incorporation of exercise in my life has me focusing on eating healthier and feeling more confident with myself! However, my issue is with my partner! We used to always be active outside together regularly, but now it seems that in the past two years I can’t get him motivated to go for walks, hikes or workout with me. Because of this I feel we live two completely different lifestyles, ranging from interests, activities and dietary factors. This is so frustrating for me as he gets angry and jealous if I choose a workout over spending time at home with him. I can see how unhappy he is, which makes me not want to spend time with him. Can you please offer your advice or ideas as to how I can get him to want to be active with me?
Thank you for your question! Let me start by saying congratulations to you for seeing the value in your regimen of fitness, activity and health! The fact that you have not wavered from your fitness routine based upon your partner's requests to do so is absolutely fantastic!
There are so many reasons for a person to lose the desire of participating in physical activities - sometimes it just comes down to getting out of the fitness routine and feeling comfortable with the current inactive lifestyle. Trying to re-incorporate a healthier and more active routine for some may seem intimidating or overwhelming, especially if they fear that they won’t be able to keep up to their partner, if they feel forced into something, or if your idea of a fun physical activity is not what they are interested in. It could very well be that perhaps your partner is just not interested in incorporating any physical activity into his lifestyle. There are so many reasons, so make sure you understand clearly the “why”.
The saying, “couples that sweat together… stay together” is very much true! Bonding with your partner over a physical activity can be a very rewarding and strengthening factor in any relationship! The key is to find similar interests, so that each party enjoys the active quality time just as much as the other! With that being said, start off with these baby steps to get your partner on board with sharing the enjoyment of an active lifestyle with you!
1. Know the “why”: Have the conversation with your partner to make sure he/she is interested in developing a routine that incorporates fitness and activities. You can’t force someone to be interested in your interests. Once the interest is confirmed then work on this next step.
2. Get planning: Put together a weekly activity game plan that both you and your partner have an equal say in. Select the days of the week, times and activities you guys will participate in for your activities.
3. Don't get too advanced or competitive in the beginning: If you have some hikes, walks or runs planned, ensure that it's at an intensity that would work for your partner, at his current fitness level. It can be a bit of an ego bruiser if your partner can’t keep up to you right away, not to mention that the shortness of breath will take away from a wonderful conversation.
4. Relaxing activities: If those muscles are getting stiff from your new fitness routine, plan for a relaxing couples massage or restorative yoga class! Active relaxing can be just as bonding as the big hikes or workouts and very enjoyable! This will be an enjoyable reward for your partner after some great workouts!
5. Get Creative: Step outside of your comfort zone and don’t take your activities too seriously - try something completely different! Kick boxing, boot camp classes, sharing on personal training sessions, biking, you name it! Select activities that will have you high-fiving, learning and laughing together by the end of it!
6. Praise your partner: Don’t forget - let your partner know how great you feel that they are sharing in on this active time with you! Tell them specifically what you love the most about your new experiences. I am sure at this point they are just as happy and feeling pretty great about themselves that they have taken these steps with you.
Taking the right approach can make a huge difference in getting the active bonding time with your partner! Watch as your strengths, connection and hobbies develop together and, what perfect timing now that spring is here! The sky's the limit so get outdoors and have fun!
If you have any questions, comments or training enquiries contact Kasie at 250-859-2431 or [email protected]
I had taken the opportunity to sneak in a few minutes in between my clients today to take my dog for a quick walk and along our way I came across a young family doing something so amazing! What I witnessed stopped me dead in my tracks in awe! Not only was I impressed with what I was seeing, I was very much inspired! As I walked away it had me thinking…these parents had no way of knowing how much of a positive impact they had left on me and my day!
As I walk past the park my attention gravitated to the sound of pure joy and laughter. A typical fun family day at the park might look like a good play on the playground or kicking some balls around, however this family had me looking twice as I noticed that they had taken advantage of the park equipment in a whole other way…. a family circuit style workout! Having witnessed these young kids participating and enjoying this workout and bonding time with their parents as they stepped up on benches, side shuffled, jump squatted and plank walked their way around that playground was a reminder to me and had me motivated to be even more active and creative in my active time with my daughter for later today!
As a Personal Trainer & Health and Wellness coach, I am a huge advocate for combining physical activity and fun for a family bonding afternoon! Our children are so impressionable and we only have one chance! If we can create a healthy routine in regards to activities and nutrition, we will be setting them up for nothing but future health and confidence. I admit, for me this is just as important as their education!
Today's family park workout inspiration is a reminder to me that we all have the amazing ability to inspire others, whether it be career, school, health, fitness, parenting and everyday kind gestures. Throughout our lives I am sure that each and every single one of us has inspired and made many differences to other's lives, either knowingly or unknowingly, whether it be a loved one or a stranger passing by! Keep your eyes open to your actions, see how you can and have made a difference!
If you have any comments, questions or training enquiries contact me directly at 250-859-2431 or [email protected]
Sometimes our minds are so blocked in regards to our physical capabilities. This blockage comes from our own belief systems, perhaps a system that was created by a less than perfect past experience, fear of failure, fear of being judged, being compares by and to others, or simply just not giving yourself enough credit by assuming you wouldn't be able to do it! If we limit ourselves from something that yesterday seemed unfeasible, challenging or out of our comfort zone, then it is in the end that we deny ourselves the opportunity to experience and achieve the capabilities which could come naturally and with ease.
If you take the opportunity to "get real" with yourself in this moment and think about all of the belief systems around working out, sports and health that you have created over the years which kept you feeling "safe" by your actions of not trying something new or quitting when it felt tough. Some would consider this cheating yourself, however, I consider this to be far more serious - I call this abandoning your body. Yes, it does sounds harsh.. but to me it's the truth!
If you're sitting here reading this, and you realize that your lack of incorporation, yo-yo history of fitness or perhaps the routine that just has not managed to become a routine is the side effect of your negative belief systems, and you are ready to power up and get moving to bring health back into your body, I applaud you! Read back through my previous columns of: Mind body connection, Goal setting, Creating routines and Fueling your body to get you started!
One of the best things you can do is commit to yourself! Invest in a personal trainer to get you confident with your movements and to help you develop a routine. If personal training is not your thing, and you are looking for a commitment to your fitness, then check out my upcoming Train Like an Athlete, group training 8 week program! This program is for people who have worked out before and feel comfortable doing the basic primal movement exercises.. squats, pushes, pulls, lunges and can connect to the core. Limited spots are available, register to confirm your spot at [email protected]
If you like the idea of group training and have a group of friends or coworkers who would like to create your own small group training program, call me 250-859-2431 to inquire!
I am so frustrated with how challenging the process has been to continue with achieving my New Year's resolution, of staying active and eating healthy. I feel like a failure! I have not been enjoying the process, I don't want to give up on my hard work over the last few months, but to be brutally honest...it just seems sooooo much easier to not worry about my health. I remember being happier when I didn't have any pressure of change. I am starting to think that I will never achieve a healthier life! I just don't know what to do anymore, Please help me!
I appreciate your honesty regarding the frustration and challenges you have faced in achieving your New Year's resolution, please allow me to start off by saying, just because it has been difficult in the past... does not mean it's always going to be that way! Allow yourself to let go of all the pressure and frustration that you have held onto regarding the current incorporation of lifestyle changes. Take a big sigh of relief! Because from this point on, you will find out that change does not need to be so hard! If you can build a strong foundation for future health and wellness changes... you can create the change successfully! Answer these questions for yourself to see if you need to change your mindset or create a stronger foundation for you!
Question #1: Do you want to be a 2014 statistic of New Year's Resolutions, or do you prefer to create your own path to wellness and health, on YOUR terms?
Question #2: Have you taken the time to be detailed and precisely clear with yourself as to what it is that you desire to achieve on your journey of change? Or, did you just select the wide open goal of "being healthy and active for 2014."
If you were not crystal clear on what it was that you were working so hard for on your last go around, then take some time to think about what exactly it is that you desire to change. Get connected to the ideal life you want for yourself! Once you have a clear vision of the positive changes you desire, take the next step to write down your goals (check back through my other columns regarding goal setting). Create your goal road map and your reward systems before moving on!
Question# 3: Your actions and efforts are what create your future successes! Are you truly ready to create the change you desire to live and be?
If you are ready, then now is the time to get rid of the bad memories and frustration associated with the your last efforts of making lifestyle changes. Allow for this fresh start to have positive attachments... not negative memories.
Embrace a difference in your routine! I know that we all like to stay in our safety zone with activities and comfort foods, but by putting action and effort into taking the time to weigh out smarter food and shopping choices as well as throwing yourself into new activities such as the gym, joining a running group or team sports. You will soon find that these scary changes have morphed into your new enjoyable positive and healthy routine (that is if they match your goals)! If you find that you still don't enjoy the process, take a look back to your goals! If your goal is to have buns of steel and toned abs, but you don't like the gym... or working out, you might want to take a closer look at the lifestyle that you really do want.
Question #4: Do you really want to succeed?
Yes, I said it! This is a biggy.. ask yourself this question again. "Do I really want to succeed?" I have seen and heard it all, for some, we may think that we want the positive lifestyle changes, confidence and better health as the reward, however we might just have the life partner, friends or family who may not want the same for themselves or you! For some, the conversation, drama, sympathy and attention of our efforts might just be the current attention we desire, not the actual outcome! This is either due to fear of change, fear of losing loved ones or self sabotage! So ask yourself again "Do I want to succeed" "Do I want these changes?" If you said YES, write down all the reasons these changes are so important to you.. get emotionally connected to each and every one of these reasons! If you happen to notice fears around others in your life not wanting these changes for you... ask yourself what is most important in your life for you!
If you can connect and plug into you and your desires for change, you will likely not look at this journey as a frustration or challenge. These simple questions to ask will provide you with a solid foundation of emotional and mental prepping for the exciting lifestyle changes ahead. Once your reasons and goals are set in stone the next steps in regards to proper nutrition and fitness plans should fall into place with effort and guidance. If your foundation has not been set the nutrition and fitness process will seem overwhelming and frustrating in time! Create your future goals with your head and heart in the game and you will be well on your path to making a life change for good!
If you have any comments, questions or personal training inquiries contact Kasie at 250-859-2431.
Read more Kasie's Health & Fitness Tips articles
- Do you know your own strength? Feb 6
- Become the master of your own body! Jan 23
- Cold and flu season Dec 12
- A guilt free holiday season! Nov 28
- Spinal health with Dr. Kyle McLeod Nov 14
- Fitness advice from top local trainers! Oct 31
- Pelvic floor health Oct 17
- Kelowna's fitness leaders Oct 3
- Five steps to a better workout! Sep 19
- Life dreamer! Sep 5
- Blame shifter or decision maker? Aug 22
- Are you a breakfast skipper? Jul 25
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